The Vibe Effect: Understand How Negative Energy Impacts the Choices You Make

“I had no choice.”

How many times have you heard yourself utter this powerful, negative phrase?

In truth, many of us walk around feeling like we have no choice. Take notice of how many times a day you say the words “have to,” “should” and “need to.” Whenever you feel like you must do something, you’re a victim to your thoughts or circumstances.

In fact, when you’re faced with a task or something to do there are five basic ways you can respond, and of them—only one—is by full, conscious choice.

The five ways of responding are “I won’t,” “I have to,” “I need to,” “I want to” or “I choose to.”

When you say “I won’t” do something, you’re saying you have no power, that life happens to you no matter what you do or believe. You don’t believe you have a choice. You also don’t really think there’s anything in it for you—so why do it?

Try this on for size: “I won’t engage in online dating. It’s a waste of time.”

Say it out loud. How does it feel, and what is the energy you feel in your body when you make this powerful statement?

Here’s another alternative:

If you say “I have to,” you’re looking at the short-term perspective. You “have to” complete the task in front of you, or else you will experience dire consequences. You feel forced to do it and that you have very little to no choice. For example, “My sister says I have to date online in order to meet anyone in this town.” Again, when you state this aloud, what type of energy do you feel and what are the resultant thoughts and feelings you have?

Another response is this: “I need to create an online profile.” This is a more powerful place to come from as you are now aware of your choices and seek to find the opportunity in the challenges presented to you. And while this perspective brings more chance of success, it’s still catabolic and destructive because you don’t feel like you’re fully at choice.

In summary, these three responses involve either non-action or action by force. Since you are not energetically bought into a situation, goal or project—and because you are bringing catabolic energy to it—you are also bringing a recipe for failure. So in these catabolic levels, even though you may think you are choosing to do something, at your core you chose not to do it or not to do it well.

The next response, “I want to,” involves the use of positive or anabolic energy because it indicates you are mostly at choice. But “want” still comes from a place of lack. “I want to try online dating,” for example, feels like the “half-way” response. You want to do it, yet your words and actions don’t match.

The most powerful response is “I choose to.” When you respond this way you feel you have complete choice. There’s a powerful connection between who you are and what you do.

And last, try this on for size: “I am choosing to try online dating this month!” What feelings arise when you make this statement? Most likely you feel enthusiastic, empowered and positive.

So how do you get to choose to? Simply come from a place of having everything and choosing to experience something new rather than to fill a need. Easy? Not at all, but you can choose to try it!