How to Learn From "Negative" Experiences

Today we are going to take a look at how you can assess yourself and examine how your actions and attitudes affect your results as well as impact the people around you.

People who are catabolic live in their own little worlds. They do what they do, and they rarely (if ever) stop to think about the consequences of what they are doing (and how they are doing it). If catabolic people do assess, they self-assess; that is, they don’t ask for input from people around them because they fear in doing so they may appear weak. In addition, catabolic people "know" they are right and others are wrong (or incompetent, or lazy), so why would they ask for others’ feedback?

Anabolic people, on the other hand, are always working “on themselves.” Not only are they willing to take hard looks at themselves, but they also solicit and consider feedback from others, as they know this information is crucial if they are to continue to grow and develop.

Let’s consider Catabolic Curt and Anabolic Amy. Both Curt and Amy have incredibly full lives, and both have recently had to deal with some negative feedback.

Curt had been told by the woman he’d been dating recently that she no longer wanted to pursue a relationship with him. When Curt relayed the story to friends, he complained about the woman and intimated there was something wrong with her. He blamed her for the failed relationship and was very clear on what she’d done wrong.

Amy, on the other hand, had also recently been broken up with a boyfriend. Not surprisingly, she handled the situation differently. She spoke with friends and, by not blaming her ex, she was able to see neither of them were at fault and it simply wasn’t a match.

She came to understand there were things she could have done differently, and now she has a plan for her next relationship. By learning instead of blaming, Amy was able to handle the breakup gracefully and create space for someone new.

People who are anabolic learn from “negative” experiences and are able to grow.