When It Comes to Dating, Here's How to Use Both Your Head and Your Heart Effectively

This week we’re going to explore a very interesting distinction between anabolic and catabolic dating. We’ll look at the way each type of person thinks when she is dating from either a negative, destructive place dominated by fear, guilt, self-doubt or anger, vs. a person who is anabolic and views each step along the dating path as an important piece of the journey toward manifesting love. This is perhaps one of the most complicated (but essential) aspects of understanding the difference between the two types of men and women you might meet when dating.

Catabolic daters use left brain analysis almost exclusively. This type of thinking is linear and rational. It’s the logical approach and considers only facts and actual observations. Anabolic men and women use whole brain thinking, which encompasses emotions and intuition as well as logic. This type of thinking is called holographic thinking, because like multi-dimensional holograms, holographic thinking involves being able to see many perspectives at once.

By using their emotional and intuitive minds in addition to left brain logical analysis, people who have high levels of anabolic, positive energy are able to view a situation as a whole and thus get a complete picture of what is really going on. The ability to see this “meta-view” is key to ensuring the greatest chances for success (in every aspect of life), and especially for making—both on a daily and a long-term basis—the very best decisions they can.

So how would this actually play out "in real life"?

For example, a woman was faced with a decision about whether or not to pull the plug on a man she has been dating because he currently did not have the financial success she had envisioned for her life. The catabolic dater would look only at the facts, think about his current income, and, most likely, would decide to discontinue seeing this man because he was not able to meet one of her criteria.

An anabolic dater would take much more into account in making the decision. Not only would she think about logistics and her “list” of negotiables and non-negotaibles, but she would also take time to reflect on her intuitive response (what flashes of insight she had) and also consider his emotional response and engagement in the relationship as well. The conclusion they come to might be the same: to pull the plug, or, based on a hunch or an emotion or both, they might decide to keep the relationship going.

The key is using a holographic approach. Anabolic men and women address opportunities—and challenges—from many perspectives at once. To practice thinking holographically, consider your potential action in light of what makes sense, what your emotional response to it is, and what your intuitive senses tell you. This may not be natural at first, but eventually it will become second nature and increase your ability to become a more empowered, positive, and compassionate person who enjoys each opportunity that dating in the 21st century provides.