Expressing Emotions

Letting Your Emotions Out

Emotions, especially negative ones, are not treasure pieces we need to keep locked up and safe! Bottled-up emotions, in fact, can inflict more harm than most people would give them credit for. Negative emotions that are never released can lead to many physical and psychological ailments, from depression and extreme cynicism to heart diseases and high blood pressure.

The majority of us make a conscious decision to keep our emotions buried for fear of causing a confrontation or appearing vulnerable. The fact is that neither of these reasons for keeping one’s emotions bottled up is a sign of bravado or saintliness!

When you refuse to show your hurt you are not doing anyone a favor; in fact, you are only being unfair to yourself. Refusing to admit that people’s hurtful word or actions have had an affect on you is not a sign of self-control or level-headedness. Self-control is expressing yourself in a calm and composed manner.

Letting your emotions out does not necessarily mean you should react to everything people say, irrespective of the situation. It simply means admitting to yourself that you felt hurt and releasing all negative feelings associated with it. What most people struggle with is understanding how to effectively communicate their hurt feelings to the other individual from a place of compassion and love while not coming across as aggressive or reactionary.

How to Let Your Emotions Out

There are several ways to channel your emotions out of your system; the method you choose would depend on your comfort and personality. Part of being able to respond to our emotional reactions in a situation is first acknowledging that we are, in fact, responsible for our own emotions and not the person who may have said the hurtful words in the first place. Before stepping out and speaking with the individual who may have hurt you, consider doing a few of the following first:

Write a Journal

If you are an introvert or find it difficult to confide in people, a journal or diary can be your best friend. Writing your feelings downs has a therapeutic effect on the mind. What’s more, a journal is the best listener in the world. It doesn’t give you advice, it doesn’t judge you, and it accepts you the way you are! By writing in the journal you may see how your initial response possibly was an overreaction, or you might receive clarity about how best to approach the individual who triggered the emotional response in the first place.

Take Time Off

If anger makes you want to clam up or scream your lungs out, the best thing to do is to take a step back; count from 1 to 10; or simply leave the room, let out some steam, talk to yourself, and then go back and express your feelings without raising your voice. By being able to step back into a place that is neutral or of calmness, you will allow the receiver to hear your true intention as well as find the peace to choose more effective language when communicating.

Let a Pillow Bear the Brunt

If you are feeling really angry or hurt about something, use a pillow to let out your anger. Hit it! And to release hurt, bury your face in the pillow and let the tears fall! Sometimes expressing your anger physically (as long as you don’t harm yourself or anyone else) can be extremely therapeutic. People may associate crying with weakness, but in all honesty you do need those cleansing tears once in a while to wash away your pain and hurt. If you feel you need to get physical, pick a sport or activity where you are able to channel your emotions effectively like a kick-boxing class, aerobic class, or going for a run.

Seek Therapy

If you have been keeping your emotions bottled up for years, in all likelihood it will have become second nature to you. Therefore, in order to let go of all the past hurt and resentment, you have to “unlearn” your reaction patterns and learn how to be more expressive; for this you will need the help of a professional psychotherapist. Also, if the need to be physical becomes overwhelming or you are unable to safely channel your hurt or frustration, seeking the support of a therapist can be another safe way to explore and release these bottled-up feelings.

Reacting to people’s actions and words is not wrong; after all, it’s a scientific fact that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, right? So don’t mess with universal law! Its okay to react; you just have to be careful and conscious about how you do it!

Until next time, embrace your inner wisdom.